Manners That Sell

Your LinkedIn Network - How to Invite People to Join You

Is it me? Am I the only one who finds the standard invitation to join someone's LinkedIn network somewhat abrupt and cold?  LinkedIn has made it quick and simple to send invitations to anyone and everyone.  You just go to your profile, search, find a name and click "Connect."  Off goes a message that reads, "I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn."  How impersonal is that? Of course you have the option to add a personal message, but very few people do.

While I do have friends who invite me to join them on their network, I frequently receive invitations from people whom I don't know and have never heard of.  Upon checking their profile, I can usually discover that these people have a product or service that they would like to promote.  Other times it is impossible to figure out the connection and the reason for the invitation. 

It occurs to me that if you want to invite someone to join you, you need to word your invitation carefully and courteously. Here are my thoughts on how to send an invitation and respond to one.

• Always, always, always, personalize your message. 
• If you don't have a history with these people, explain why you want them to join you.
• Perhaps you should remind them of how you met.
• Reference an article or post they have written.
• Comment on something about their profile.
• Mention the mutual benefit of being connected.
• In short, take the time to explain your invitation.

Now, how do you respond to invitations from seemingly total strangers?

• Be forth coming and acknowledge the invitation.
• Ask how you are connected.
• If it doesn't seem to be a good fit, send a courteous message when you decline the invitation. Leave a good impression. 

Finally, when someone agrees to join you on LinkedIn, be sure to send a thank you reply.

It is not about how many connections you have. It is about how many meaningful connections you have. It is not a numbers game. It is what you do with the numbers that count.

Happy connecting,

P.S. If you would like to help your employees get the most out of their business networking, invite me to present "Networking Magic".

About Lydia Ramsey

Lydia Ramsey is a Savannah-based business etiquette expert, executive etiquette coach, professional speaker and author of Manners That Sell™, offering keynotes and seminars to corporations, associations, colleges and universities. To learn more about Lydia, her services and products, go to her website, Manners That Sell.

If you would like to have Lydia speak at your next meeting or conference contact her online or call her at 912-598-9812.

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If you have clients or colleagues who might enjoy my business etiquette newsletter, let them know they can register here for their own copy!

Do Your Homework Before You Network

As I write this newsletter, I am making preparations to speak about networking to the Georgia Society of Certified Public Accountants at Amelia Island, Florida. Now there is a group whose expertise I need. The writer in me has suppressed the numbers side of me. I am extremely grateful for accountants and people with a love for math. While they do what they enjoy, I am free to put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard. My message to this group is one I would like to share with you as one of my loyal subscribers.

Networking is a very broad topic, I am choosing to focus on one piece of it for the purpose of this newsletter.  The attention is on planned business/social events and how to prepare for them. It is not the usual "how to work the event" topic. This is about preparing for the event in advance. Consider these questions before you head out the door:

1. What is the event?  Read the invitation carefully. Check to see if it is a cocktail reception with heavy hors d'oeuvres, breakfast, lunch or dinner. No matter what refreshments or meals are provided, eat something before you go so you can focus on the business connections and not the food and drink.

2. Why is it being held? What is the reason for having this event? Is it purely for bringing a business group or groups together? Is it a fund-raiser? Is it to share information about the host organization or a thank you to their clients?  Is it to lure new clients?

3.  Who will be there?  If you have any questions about the other people who have been invited, ask. Call the person or organization who sent the invitation. Most likely, they will be happy that you care and more than willing to share that information, if not by name, by organization.

 4. What will I talk about? Never, ever go to an event without some conversation starters in your head.  Read the paper, listen to the news, research the host organization so you are ready to talk to anyone you meet. Have three topics you can discuss if there is a lull in the conversation.

5. What should I wear?  This is not simply a woman's issue.  Check to see what the recommended attire is.  If the terminology is not clear, put that question on your list for the event planner or sponsor. "Business attire" and "business casual" mean different things to different people.

Proper planning can serve you well and help to avoid embarrassing moments.  Remember that advance preparation adds the polish that builds profits!

Happy networking,

P.S. If you would like to help your employees get the most out of their business networking hire me to present "Networking Magic".

About Lydia Ramsey

Lydia Ramsey is a Savannah-based business etiquette expert, executive etiquette coach, professional speaker and author of Manners That Sell™, offering keynotes and seminars to corporations, associations, colleges and universities. To learn more about Lydia, her services and products, go to her website, Manners That Sell.

If you would like to have Lydia speak at your next meeting or conference contact her online or call her at 912-598-9812.

Pass It On

If you have clients or colleagues who might enjoy my business etiquette newsletter, let them know they can register here for their own copy!

Top Ten Tips on Business Card Etiquette

Business cards are the staple of business success.  Nevertheless, I am constantly amazed by how few professionals pay attention to the etiquette of exchanging cards.  These are the very same people who seek information about the rules of networking, making positive first impressions and dressing for success.  You can work the crowd with ease, offer an impressive handshake and dress with finesse, but if you don't know the fine points of giving and receiving business cards, all the rest can be a waste of time and effort.

Here are ten basic rules to follow for the profitable and productive exchange of business cards.

1. Never leave your home or office without your cards and plenty of them.  There is nothing more unprofessional than the business person who has to say, "Oh, I'm sorry. I just gave out my last card." or " I'm sorry. I didn't bring any with me."
2. Keep your cards in a business card case or in something that protects them from wear and tear.  A crumpled business card makes a poor first impression.
3. Know where your business cards are at all times.  The person who has to go through every jacket and pants pocket or every nook and cranny of a briefcase to find those business cards loses credibility immediately.
4. Hand them out with discretion. Those people who believe in doling them out in multiples of 12 send a message that their cards aren't worth much.
5. Give and receive cards with your right hand--the hand of discretion.  This can make a big difference when doing business internationally.
6. Give the card so the person who is receiving it can read it without having to turn it around.
7. Always make a comment about a card when you receive it. Note the logo, the business name or some other piece of information.  This places value on the card.
8. Keep your business cards up to date.  When any of your contact information changes; run, don't walk, to your nearest printer for new cards. It is substandard business etiquette to hand out cards on which you have crossed off an old phone number and written in the new one.
9. Don't write notes to yourself on someone else's business card during the exchange unless they appear relevant.  For example, if someone asks me to send a copy of my book, Manners That Sell, it makes perfect sense to write "Send book" on the back of that card. However, that would not be the time to write "good lead to ABC organization" on the card. I do that later and out of sight.
10. Avoid appearing aggressive with business cards.  Wait to be asked for yours. If that isn't happening, ask the other person for a card.  Reciprocity generally follows.

Knowing the rules of business card etiquette is just one more way to add the polish that builds profits.

Here's to better business card etiquette!

P.S. To learn more about the polite exchange of business cards, purchase an autographed copy of my book Manners That Sell in April 2011 and receive a complimentary copy of the DVD, Networking Magic.

P.P.S.  If you want the information firsthand, I offer presentations on Networking Magic for organizations and businesses as well as individual coaching.

 

About Lydia Ramsey

Lydia Ramsey is a Savannah-based business etiquette expert, executive etiquette coach, professional speaker and author of Manners That Sell™, offering keynotes and seminars to corporations, associations, colleges and universities.

If you would like to have Lydia speak at your next meeting or conference contact her online or call her at 912-598-9812.

Pass It On

If you have clients or colleagues who might enjoy my business etiquette newsletter, let them know they can register here for their own copy!

Business Conversation Is A Balance

Much has been written and said about the art of conversation. It comes easily to some, and for others, it is a struggle to get a dialogue underway and keep it going.  In the business world, you need good conversation skills to build relationships with your clients and your colleagues.  The more you know about your clients, the better you can serve them. The more you understand your colleagues, the better you can work with them.

Like so much in life, good conversation is a matter of maintaining balance.  It's a blend of speaking and listening.  Paying attention to what other people are saying is key to making them feel important and to keeping a natural conversational flow.  Even the most well intentioned business people can kill a conversation without realizing what they have done.  Here a few of the classic types who have earned the title, "Conversation Killer."

The Interrogator.  This is the person who read somewhere that asking questions is the secret to maintaining a dialogue.  The result is a barrage of questions fired at the other person until he is completely worn down.  By commenting and reflecting on what people are saying, you can avoid making them feel as if they are being grilled by the local police.

The Interrupter.  This person doesn't take the time to hear the other person out.  It is frustrating and rude to jump into the middle of someone else's sentence and the Interrupter never learns enough about the other person to create a real relationship.

The Advisor.  This killer believes he is keeping the balance.  He has heard what was said and is now offering his advice.  The problem here is that nobody asked what he thought.  Keep your opinion to yourself unless you hear, "What would you do?" or "What do you think?" 

The One-Upper.  This individual can hardly wait for you to finish your story so he can go you one better.  So you had a skiing accident and broke your ankle?  Well, he fell off a mountain and was in a body cast for a year.  Whatever you have to say, he'll top it.

"Been there, done that."  Think of how you feel when someone mutters that phrase.  It's like a bucket of cold water on what might have been a warm conversation.  If the other person has been there and done that, there is nowhere left to go and nothing left to say.

Good conversation is give and take.  Everybody participates by listening to what is said, acknowledging it and offering a response.  Sometimes it feels like work, but after all, you are trying to establish rapport, build your business and make more money.  That is work.

Happy conversing!

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About Lydia Ramsey

Lydia Ramsey is a business etiquette expert, executive etiquette coach, professional speaker and author of Manners That Sell™, offering keynotes and seminars to corporations, associations, colleges and universities. Contact her at 912-598-9812.

Do you have a need for a business etiquette speaker? If so, learn how you can hire Lydia at http://mannersthatsell.com/planners/index.html.

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Punctuality - A Must in Business Etiquette

Punctuality is a simple way to show courtesy and respect for others: your customers, your clients and your colleagues.  When you show up late for appointments, meetings or meals, you send a clear message to others that your time is more important than theirs. Punctuality should not be viewed as the art of guessing how late the other fellow is going to be. Instead it should be valued as the heart and soul of good business.

Being A Good Conversationalist In Business

Being good at conversation is a skill that you need to develop if you want to get ahead in business. It is relatively easy to learn even if you think of yourself as shy. If you do it right, the other person does the majority of the work and enjoys every minute of it. The secret is not to do all the talking but to focus on the other person and listen to what they have to say.

A good conversationalist asks questions. It is not necessary to act as if you know it all. If you don’t have a clue what the other person is talking about, ask. Not only will you learn something, but you will also stimulate more conversation.

Listen to the other person, and remember that listening is not a passive act. Use your mind as well as your ears so that you absorb what is being said. Unless you think about what you are hearing, you can’t respond appropriately.

Pay attention to body signals. If you look at other people when you are speaking, make eye contact with them and check out their posture, you will know if you are holding their attention or boring them to tears. When they look away from you or begin to slump over, you have either lost their interest or worn them down with words.

Make sure that the signals you send tell the person that you are listening. That means facing people, looking into their eyes, nodding from time to time, and paraphrasing or repeating what they have said.

Most importantly, wait until the other person has finished speaking before you start to talk. Resist the urge to complete someone else’s thought or jump in with a response mid-sentence. No matter how enlightening your next comment may be, the person who is rudely interrupted will not be impressed. Talk with intention, but listen intently.For more information on being a good conversationalist in business, you can purchase Networking Magic: Connecting With Confidence live on DVD. Being comfortable talking with others on a professional or personal level helps you develop more profitable relationships. Use the coupon code NETWORKING (a 20% discount) when you check out so you don't leave the office without these must-have strategies.

Quick Meeting & Greeting Tips Part Two

1. When meeting someone offer a firm handshake.  Never offer a bone-crushing grips or wimpy limp-wristed hand shakes.
   
2. In business you always introduce less important people, such as your boss, to more important people, such as a business prospect.
   
3. Pay attention to names when you meet people.  If you concentrate and repeat the name as soon as you hear it you are more likely to remember.
   
4. Use first names of people you have just met only after they give you permission.  Not everyone wants to be addressed informally at first.

Quick Meeting & Greeting Tips

1. Your goal when meeting other people is to make them feel comfortable and to put them ease so they will want to do business with you.
   
2. Always stand up, make eye contact and smile when you meet someone.  This allows you to engage the person on an equal level - eye to eye.
   
3. Introduce yourself immediately.  As soon as you approach people you don't know or are approached by them, say who you are.

Stay tuned for more meeting & greeting tips.

A Different Perspective on Networking

All business people are networkers whether they realize it or not. Some are more effective than others. Some work at it with purpose; others wander aimlessly through the process.
 
Every time you meet someone, greet someone, pick up the phone, send an e-mail message, engage someone in conversation, write a note (yes, some people still write notes), you are networking.
 
You don’t have to attend a community function, an after hours reception, a fundraising event or an educational conference to network. Anytime you interact with someone else you are engaged in networking. It can happen at the mall, the grocery store, the post office, walking the dog, riding in an elevator or waiting for your next flight to take off.
 
The purpose of business networking is to build relationships and grow your business, but you can’t be successful at networking if you don’t understand what it is. Some people think that it’s who you know and others believe that it’s who knows you. Networking is a combination of those two, but it is more than that.
 
Business networking is also about what you know, and more importantly, it’s about who knows that you know what you know. (Try saying that fast three times in a row.)
 
It’s not enough to be famous if no one understands what makes you famous. As part of your networking strategy, be clear on who you are, what you do and what you have to offer. Your area of expertise and the unique skills you possess are what others need to know.
 
How can you be sure that people know that you know what you know? By being visible and by using, not abusing, every opportunity to showcase your expertise. Once people know that you know what you know, you become the expert and the “to-go-to” person. It’s a lot easier to have people come to you than having to chase them down.
 
I’ll be attending Book Expo America in New York this week, and I’ll do all that I can without being pushy to let people know that I have a business called Manners That Sell, that I offer keynotes and seminars on business etiquette to small businesses, corporations, associations, colleges and universities and that I am the author of several books, including Manners That Sell – Adding The Polish That Builds Profits and Lydia Ramsey's Little Book of Table Manners.
 
 Happy Networking!
 
 
 Lydia is available to present keynotes and workshops at your next event.

Trade Show Etiquette - Free Mints and First Impressions

Trade shows are big business today and the 2009 season is about to begin. In fact, you probably already have a number of invitations from upcoming conferences asking if you would be interested in renting space to hawk your wares.

Over the years I have resisted these invitations. They require money and manpower and the return on investment may or may not be there. In these difficult times vendors are looking at their budgets and struggling with that decision. Obviously, you can't grow your business unless you are in front of potential customers in person or online.

This past year I decided to participate in three vendor shows. All were exercises in salesmanship and people watching. I must confess that I enjoyed the latter most. I made a number of observations which I promised to share with you before the holidays. Here is a sampling of what I learned about trade shows from vendors to attendees.

1. Start off on the right foot by setting up your booth on time. What kind of impression will you make with the trade show host and the attendees if you are still putting products and promotions out when the show opens?
   
   
2. Avoid eating and drinking in your booth. The message you send when you are munching on lunch is, "Oops, I don't have time for you now. I'm busy."
   
   
3. Stand up during the event no matter how bad your feet hurt and your back aches. A vendor sitting down appears lazy, disinterested and unapproachable.
   
   
4. Save your idle chatter with your booth mates until after the show. No one passing by will care enough to interrupt your conversation for a sales pitch.
   
   
5. Be considerate of the other vendors by saving your sound and light presentation for another occasion. During one trade show, the fellow in the next booth had so much audio and video going that it felt like half-time at the Super Bowl.
   
   
6. Draw passersby to your booth through your professional appearance and positive attitude. Wear your most professional attire and greet everyone with eye contact, a smile and a greeting. "Hi, how are you?" as a greeting will generate the classic response, "Fine." There goes your prospect. Be original.
   
   
7. Pay attention to your body language and maintain open posture-no crossed arms. Stand forward in your booth with hands relaxed and at your sides.
   
   
8. Remember the 80/20 rule - listen 80% of the time and talk 20% of the time. Otherwise, you will never learn what your prospect wants, needs or thinks.
   
   
9. Wear your name tag, the one that everyone can read without having to squint.
   
   
10. Use the name of your prospect in conversation so they know that they are the focus of your attention.
    
    
11. Be consistent. You are your company. If you are selling a clown act, be funny no matter how grumpy you may feel at the end of the day. If you are promoting business etiquette, be gracious regardless of other people's inconsiderate behavior.
    
    
12. And finally, stay out of other companies' booths. Wandering into other people's exhibit area is disruptive and gives them permission to barge in on you when they get bored.

When the show is over, the dust has settled and the aches and pains are subsiding, follow up with your prospects so that all that effort is not wasted. Turn your contacts into clients.


Lydia is available to present keynotes and workshops at your next event.

If you are looking for other resources on business etiquette, Lydia has a wealth of products from books to DVD's available in The Manners Store.